Don't get me wrong. I need to go for a run too. It's similar feeling - my brain and my body - both over-stuffed. Thoughts and calories accumulating faster than I can possibly burn them. My Fitbit shows only 4,125 steps for the day. But right now, writing is more important.
I need to get out of my own head. It's stifling in here.
It may sound counter-intuitive, as the process of writing has so much to do with self-examination - dissecting feelings, finding perspectives and challenging beliefs. It's a labor of love. And, once my thoughts are tidied up and the words are out, the lesson reveals itself and the whole world makes just that much more sense.
A few weeks ago, I sat down at my laptop, ready to dive back in.
I clicked to pull up The Daily Fuss. Where would I start? So much has happened. So much has changed.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to determine a re-starting point just then. I was forced to spend the next few minutes unraveling a mini-mystery.
The Daily Fuss was gone.
No more Fuss. No more little birdie. Just this cheesy sham website with a series of underwhelming stock photos of an average little man in a cheap, white shirt.
Within the span of sixty seconds, I managed to completely freak out, check Typepad, sigh with relief, research the domain registration and determine the precise point of failure.
The good news is, my content is intact. WHEW. The bad news is that my credit card used to hold my domain had expired in June. The moment that happened, some jackass snatched thedailyfuss.com right up.
So, that day, instead of clearing out space in my head with a much-needed writing session, I purchased dailyfussblog.com and transferred my content over. I spent hours re-reading old pieces and reliving moments in more detail than I could have recalled on my own.
I loved it. I loved it so much, I poured a glass of wine and put my jammies on early to cozy up with my words.
I'm so glad I have this chronicle. In retrospect, it has much to do with growing up and becoming a parent and suffering the perpetual identity crisis that felt so specific to those things that consumed me at the time.
I am still immersed in motherhood and raising my kids. Family time is absolutely the most important time for the Freemans. But, it's equally important for me to focus on the me of me, while working to maintain the we of me.
To that end, The Daily Fuss may continue - just not today. Always Overboard is a new project, meant to dig a little deeper than Instagram snapshots, potty training tales and Pinterest triumphs.
The truth is, the identity crisis doesn't really end when the kids are old enough to fend for themselves. (Silly me. I thought maybe it would.) I've come to terms with this. Constant disruption and searching helps me keep my edge.
Fear of stagnation will always drive me to frolic and detour from my day-to-day. I know that much.
I started Always Overboard to help me sort through the ongoing crisis, and challenge me to understand why I work so desperately to make the world a more vivid and interesting place for the people I love.