I am in charge of household procurement. It may sound like a fancy name for "buying stuff" - a task routinely handled by the head of household. But, making sure that three kids, a dog, a husband and Mary Poppins have everything they need to pull off their week - EVERY WEEK - is no small charge. Add class sign ups, doctor appointments and all other financial and planning responsibilities and we are living on the verge of one big, hot mess.
Somewhere in there, I have to take care of myself, as well.
According to my account profile, I have been an Amazon Prime member since 2011. I was born a Prime member to-be. Let's just say I have been doing all of my clothes, shoes and gifts shopping online since we kicked off Y2K. Back then, people thought I was crazy, buying things I couldn't touch and trusting the Netscape interweb Googlemachine with my credit card information.
I'll admit, the ultra-convenience of the Prime membership feeds my "overboard" tendencies and has created a few absurd situations over the years.
For instance, I kept forgetting to buy a can opener. I meant to add one to the cart every time I skipped Peapod and ran to Sunset for mish mash and milk and ... okay, you got me ... a cabernet. Two weeks of cursing my forgetfulness and several bottles of red later, I honestly bought a $2.97 can opener on Amazon. Free shipping for Prime Members and it arrived the next day.
Now, I order something as soon as I think of it and most things we need are delivered to the house more quickly than if I had planned a trip to the store. It eliminates whining for things like, "Mom, did you remember to get my new ballet shoes?" And, as an added bonus, I am on a first name basis with my UPS and FedEx guys.
I plan for parties in advance and order everything I need a few days beforehand. This past birthday season, I ordered new tables, linens, decorations, Command hooks, ribbons, plates, gifts, gift wrap - you name it.
Last December, I was in charge of buying Christmas gifts for a family in need - something we do every year for work. I didn't have a chance to get to the store over the weekend, was headed to Miami Monday-Thursday for a client and the gifts had to be wrapped and dropped off for the family by noon on Friday. I ordered all the gifts for a family of seven while sitting in a meeting and they were waiting for me when I got home.
It doesn't get better than this for people who routinely over-commit themselves.
Or take last week, for example: The girls and I decided it was time to make our annual Camp Freeman tie-dyes. Hours after that decision was made, dye, bottles, rubber bands and tee shirts were in our hands, we were tying and dying by 11am and we hadn't even left the house.
I suspect that Amazon Prime is a big draw with the agoraphobic crowd.
I would feel guilty about the shipping, but this stuff would be on a truck headed to wherever regardless. And, delivery trucks are out making the rounds regardless. And, Amazon has a ginormous distribution compound thirty miles up the road. And, the boxes get recycled. And, I no longer have to spend weeks repeatedly forgetting to buy a can opener.
According to my account profile, I have placed 124 orders in the past six months. That's 21 orders per month. This is as ridiculous as it is impressive, but I don't intend to stop anytime soon.